Breaking Free from Fear: Simple Ways to Deal with Rejection
Fear is a part of our lives and comes with us through different stages. It can help protect us from harm, but it can also hold us back from moving forward and reaching our goals. One of the strongest fears is the fear of being rejected.
The fear of rejection, whether in personal relationships or at work, can make us pull back and avoid going after what we really want.
This fear can stop us from taking chances or being honest, and in the end, we might feel unhappy and regretful for not trying.
Causes of the fear of rejection
Our fear of rejection often comes from past experiences. When we remember these moments, we may feel sadness and pain. We sometimes build walls around ourselves, which are made up of old beliefs we developed as children and strengthened as teenagers. Behind these walls is the “hurt child” — the one who wasn’t included in games or birthday parties, who was bullied, or who longed for their parents’ approval.
These emotional wounds need to be recognized in order to heal. When we feel hurt or attacked, we might close ourselves off, get angry, or run away instead of dealing with the situation. However, these actions only give temporary relief, not healing. To break these old patterns, we need to identify where these feelings come from and face them honestly.
How to deal with rejection?
Dealing with rejection is tough, especially when it comes from people who are unkind or mean. You might feel hurt or even bullied, but it’s important to remember that these people may be struggling themselves. Don’t take everything personally; they might not realize that their words or actions are hurting you.
This doesn’t mean excusing their behavior, but it’s important not to let their words or actions change how you see yourself. When we look deeper into rejection, we often find that fear and loneliness are behind it. However, we can choose how to think and feel about it. We can’t control what others think or do, but we can control how we react. We need to decide whether we will let others’ words shape who we are or how we feel about ourselves. Know who you are, and be proud of every part of yourself, even the messy and hurt parts.
How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection
In her article, Spanish author Alicia Luna explains how to overcome the fear of rejection by following some helpful tips. The fear of rejection isn’t a disorder, but rather a natural feeling that has been part of us for a long time.
Others’ Lack of Interest in You
It may sound harsh, but it’s true—people care more about themselves than they care about you. We often think that others are always watching and judging us, but in reality, they aren’t paying as much attention as we think. Understanding this can help you stop limiting yourself. If you watch the people around you, you’ll notice they’re mostly focused on their own thoughts, phones, or lives.
Judgments Show Others’ Fears
Often, when people judge you, it’s more about their own fears and insecurities than about you. They might be projecting their own worries onto you, so it’s important not to take criticism too personally. People only see a small part of your life, and no one truly knows everything about you.
Accept yourself, no matter what
Fear of rejection is often linked to having low self-esteem. To overcome this fear, focus on building your confidence by valuing your own opinion of yourself, rather than worrying about what others think. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself, identify any negative thoughts, and find ways to be kinder to yourself. Work on learning to love yourself again and change your thoughts to be supportive instead of harmful.
Understand where your fear comes from
Think about what makes you afraid of rejection. Are you scared of feeling unimportant or being judged by others? What is behind this fear? Do you worry that you’re not good enough? Remember, your fears come from your beliefs, and these beliefs can affect you deeply, causing pain.
Be kind to yourself
Take small steps and slowly open up to others, always being kind and patient with yourself. Encourage yourself as you go. For example, you could share your opinion in a conversation, wear something different, or politely say no to someone. Celebrate the small wins, and if things don’t go as planned, see it as a chance to learn.
People will always judge you
This is a tough reality, but accepting it can set you free. Even if you try to please everyone, some people will still judge you. They might think you’re nice, fake, or something else, depending on what they want to believe. Whether people like you or not, there will always be someone who judges you.
What really matters is how you deal with rejection and the judgments others make. Will you ignore them and keep loving yourself? Or will you let their opinions decide who you are?
Published: 27th November 2024
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